i feel as though i am losing myself within the cyclical happenings of every day life. i.e...the absolute necessity to make money to make it in this world, to keep your head above groung. "me" being the lady who enjoys a life of dalliance, really stopping to smell the roses, listen to the melodies, smiling at passer bys and watching them walk into the horizon

now, my days are consumed with TRYING to catch enough hours of rest to commute an hour to and from the city, sitting in traffic, or crowded bart trains, and not finding a moment for a deep breath. its burning me out, to the core.

i keep telling myself its only temporary, it will only last so long until my talents can earn me enough money to live on. but for now i find energy hard to gather after a long day on my feet, or working with the children. to maintain a balance? but how? and when? and where? because certainly, living at home with my virgo father is putting a damper on my creative juices. i HAVE to get out of here.

i feel trapped, with little move to room. its hard to breathe. its hard to smile.
saving every last penny, set me free.