faire ses grande adieux

"I bid you a fine farewell"

it's crazy anticipating a departure, an ending of a major fuckin' era of your life. Nothing can compare to the actual moment of leaving; when you're actually packing up your shit and getting ready to hit the road, in a way..leaving it all behind. and closing a huge chapter in the book of life. Bitersweet, I guess. im ready more than anything to break away from the routine. I dont want to know whats going to happen next week, or even tomorrow. I want to wake up and be totally unaware of what's going to happen today. I want to live in the moment, and travel and see new things, and kind of just escape into total euphoria. it's sad to leave a place, my home...where i've had more time than ever to myself to just sit and THINK. AND WONDER. AND DREAM.

that aside, Ive been truly fuckin blessed to live in the gem of California, ...paradise. Waking up every morning to crystal blue skies, and palm trees, walking to school only to get there and gaze out the windows to see the massive Pacific Ocean staring back. Falling asleep every night to the waves crashing on the beach, the insanely blinding orange and pink sunsets, the laid back, happy to be living moods of everyone here, the seventy degree DECEMBER weather, the lifestyle, the natural Cafe's tofu, and veggie burgers (yes, that alone makes me second guess my leaving santa barbara at all), going to my secret beach with jennie in the summertime when NO ONE else was here and playing in the waves all day til we looked like prunes, sunbathing and watching the volleyball players at East Beach, rollerblading/biking/running along the shoreline, State street, the burritos from MEXI-FRESH && supercucas, i'll even miss the debauchery and crustiness that is isla vista. i'll miss concerts at Santa Barbara Bowl, the best venue everrrrr (being thrown around in the pit && dancing amongst dreadlocked hippies is a shame to leave), my favorite restaurants ( carlitos, chads on chapala, the palace with their damn cornbread) they made it impossible to lose the freshman 15, Blenders smoothies!!! driving to my favorite coffee shop on the mesa before class, Smoking way too many bowls in way too many places, becoming an alchoholic, then becoming a sober sally, then becoming an alchoholic once again, all of the beautiful men at 24 hour fitness, selling pretty panties with all the pretty ladies at a tropical affair, and getting free chocolate souflee from the boys next door at the palace, all the theme parties in which i made a fool of myself, kissing some really cute boys, decorating my OWN apartment..my lord the list can go on and on.

AND... as I leave Santa Barbara and everyone in it, I owe a big part of my growth, happiness, and


to all of you that i have been blessed to meet, party with, && get to know. This is not the last of my visits to santa barbara. as well all know, its a pretty decadent place to live, and I by no means intend to make my presence here sparse. Keep in touch lovers, it's been grand, marvelous, amazing, .....words can't even begin to describe it.

C'est la vie.